Stock Market Jokes

1st october,2011 Saturday

My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his!

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.

It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets

A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!

Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower

The best time to buy anything is last year.

The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they're smart.

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists

Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard).

Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.

I asked an economist for her phone number....and she gave me an estimate.

An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.